Nice text for on your stoma bag:

We had a brainstorm on the forum about funny text you could write on your stoma bag. We thought it would be nice to collect them on the website. Have you got one? Then fill in the form below! Be aware it can take a couple of days before your text is inserted.

What have you called your stoma?

Many people give their stoma a name, knowingly or unconsciously. For one person they think about the name, for another the name presents itself. Sometimes giving something a name can make it easier. Closer to yourself, more personal. Have you seen the film “Cast away” with Tom Hanks? He had to survive on an uninhabited island. He found a volley ball, which he called “Wilson”. He talked to Wilson and gave him a face. Being able to talk to something, even if it doesn’t talk back, can be a big relief. Have you given your stoma a name and do you want to share it with us? Then fill in the form beneath!

"I have had my temporary ileostomy now for about 3 weeks. I think it looks like a sea anemone: the way it moves and pulses out and in again. But I couldn’t think of the name of a sea anemone. Therefore I call her Rosebud when I am happy with her, and Butthead when she is annoying."

...Terri

"My son called my stoma “Angus”. After the opening that I no longer have! (hint: take away the G)"

...Kim

"Mine is called Plop gnome. My stoma is so small and sometimes pulls inside so that you have to look for him with a magnifying glass."

... Lynda

"My stoma is called “Henry”. I have had my ileostomy for around 10 years now. I knew he would be with me 24/7, so I wanted to give him a name. It is a part of my life, plus when I have to email my assistant or put on a new base plate, they know exactly what I mean: it makes my life easier. I therefore advise everyone to give their stoma a name."

...Nanci

"I call her “Little trumpet” because she sometimes trumpets terribly. Not always good of course...but in the main she does it (up until now) LUCKILY not at inconvenient times. But if that happens I know, I think, how to deal with it....."

...Simoon

"I called my stoma Ankh, after the Egyptian symbol for life. Because my stoma means precisely this for me: the result (symbol) of a life saving operation to remove my UC affected intestines."

...Bill

"My stoma is called Stella. With no other reason than she seems like a Stella. I talk to her, especially when she is noisy. I think that everyone who hears me thinks I am mad! We haven’t been together long but I appreciate the good work she does and the pain she has removed form my life. Thanks Stella!"

...Liz

"Mine only has a name when it begins to bubble during the cleaning. You do not want to know what I call it then, hahahaha."

...Fredje

"My ileostomy is called Snout, because it looks like a nose. Squirt is my urostomy’s name, because he always squirts when I want to change my bag. I call them SS for short."

...Jos

"My stoma is called Vesuvius, because it erupts heavily at the most unexpected times!"

...Sharon

"My stoma is called Little Rose. If Rose grumbles then I say: stop that now Rose! I know that you will be with me until death."

...Jan

"I only got my urostomy last year, but my daughter has already given it a name: ”Tommy”. She chose this name because she thought it looked like a crushed tomato."

...Lynne

"I am a member of a forum and we had a competition there to chose the name of my stoma. Eventually it became Winnie the Pooh."

...Rebecca

"I call mine Sjaak. Sometimes I call him a nosy parker when he begins to interject whilst I am having a conversation."

...Maria

"I got my stoma when I was 17 and called him “Phil the bag”. On my 29th I got married to, yes indeed, a Phil. How coincidental. They are both unpredictable and often make me laugh."

...Maggie

"I have a new addition to my life (barely 3 months old) and I have called him the “little redheaded guy”. I know for certain that he is a guy, because a woman would never be so unpredictable. "

...Janine

"My stoma is called Humpie Dumpie because he is so small and nine times out of ten, leads his own life."

...Sandra

"I have had my stoma for 11 years now, and call him Herbie. I don’t actually know why I called him that, but it helped me to accept the stoma as a friend and not an enemy. I sometimes have interesting conversations with Herbie when he is active, even my husband talks to him now and again."

...Janet

"I have had my stoma for 22 years, I got it when I was 9. I called it Bert, after Bert and Ernie, which I loved at the time."

...Ria

"I called my stoma “cul de sac”. I am French so I shall explain it: cul means arse and sac means bag. It took me 4 years to think of an appropriate name!"

...Suzanne

"I have called my 6 month old stoma “Meredith”. It grew from the french “merde”, also know as sh*t . I found life easier to make her more personal, even though I sometimes wish she was quiet. "

...Kitty

"When I lay in the hospital and had just got my stoma, someone told me that I should give my stoma a name. First I thought it a strange idea but eventually decided to do it. So I sat looking at my stoma for a few seconds till the perfect name came to me: ”Mick”. Named for Mick Jagger. Because it seemed to me that I had Mick’s lips sticking to my belly. "

...Mel

"I called it Willy Wonka’s bubble machine. I am a teacher and after my operation I was in doubt how much I should tell my class. At that time I had a lot of problems with gas so I explained to the class that I had had an operation and sometimes now sound like “Willy Wonka’s bubble machine”. The result is that I could no longer lose the name. It is not a “human” name, but it is appropriate for me."

...Michel

"I call mine Willy because sometimes he is nearly as long as my friends. Try and think about it: a woman with a bag and a long (whahaha)."

...Jessica

Keep in mind that it can be a few days before your text is inserted.